Holding Hands With The Shadow Man

by Pretty Addicted

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Wake up in the street and with your mouth stuck to the pavement, Taste of all you've done, it makes you sick but you haven't learnt, Go to get a fix, I'm sure it's best to be out of it some more. Fall inside the house and make a scene, commit an assault, Relay all the ways I fucked you up and how it's my fault, Take your anger out on me and let me be the reason for your fall. It's not me, it's you. Do you like your drink more than you like me? Do you like your drink more than you like me? This little life you destroyed but you're too drunk to even understand or to see, But I think you're fucked cos you're the one who'll rot. Wake up as an old man with regret and none to hold you, Remember all the chances and how many times I told you, We had our little life once in a time, it didn't even matter. I stood there like a fool, I let you tell me I was no one, No more will I let you blame me for your self destruction, Put your fight to rest and just get yourself better. Hey, Do you wanna come home and play and put the bottles away and be safe? Cos that poison don't make you well and I know you so well like fire. When you go off, you burn, scorching me in turn, This dies. When your friends say the word you're dropping both your loves like flies. Put it down, give it up, go to bed, All I wanted was for you to put me back in your head, I tried to get us back, start anew, But all the fucking suffering was never enough for you. Do you like your drink more than you like me?
I saw a pretty girl in wonderland last night and I cut off her head, I put her dress on and I went out dancing with a rabbit. I found a finger in my pocket this morning; no idea how it got there, I recollect a funny moment with a creature from another planet. Running into madness, in with both feet, I see them laughing but they don't even know where I've been, Right down the rabbit hole, that's where we're gutter heroes. Desperately hiding a soul they might see, Act like they're damaged; they don't know a fucking thing, Right down the rabbit hole, that's where we're gutter heroes. I looked around and everyone was faking their ill so I spit them all out, I through the waste up and I took my life back; wasn't hopeless. They'll never understand the stab of real pain, never get the struggle at all, We fantasise just to survive and they're dying while pretending to be fucked and loveless. I'll take your pilled up, your lost and alone, I'll take your wastes of space, I'll take your "on your own"s, I'll take your victims, I'll take your dead, I'll take anything before I take a word you said.
I used to grow old in my mind when I was only a child, So many deep thoughts at one time, my stress levels would go wild. And now I stand here an adult, I feel one thousand years old, It just gets worse as time goes on, some thing that you're never told. And I don't need a doctor anyway so fuck you. The only friends are in my head, that's why they call me insane. I don't need a doctor. Fuck you, I don't need a doctor. I lock myself out of the world, the sound of your dull is like a quake, Nothing ever goes fast enough for me, I'm always the last one awake. I make friends with the voices in my head cos I know that the voice is my own, Least I know that when shit is getting bad that crazy voice takes me home, Wherever that is. Like an empty box with the lid on tight, I reside here in the night, lost inside my fucking mind. I've been too long here, I've lost my grip, Reality is a place I just don't live, it's best I keep myself hid. The only friends I have are in my head and I'm starting to see them.
I've been watching you from afar and I know you so well, We talk in whispers in the grip of the night, it's a secret we can't tell. You've got the eyes to see through the world over to my side, I've got your hand in the darkness and you can confide. They don't know who we are, I'm not the devil they want me to be If you look up at the stars, You'll see, little one, it's just you and me. They don't know what they do, They've built their house on the sand. But I always find you Holding hands with the Shadow Man. I've been holding years in my palm and I just can't let go, They tried to burn me in the fire they set but I sustained in the snow. You've always got my words in your throat and my thoughts in your head if you need them at all, I've got your hand in the darkness and you'll never fall. They keep on praying but they're already dead, They keep on praying but they're already dead to me, Even God's on my side.
I wish I wasn't a monster, something no one wants to be. Wish I was kind to myself, not constantly judging. I wish I didn't hate my face, oh how I want it to be true, I wish I didn't feel so bad because I'm desperate to be you. The same thing everyday; it's me, I am what's wrong, For I am a monster that lives inside the house. But nothing has changed and I've been waiting for so long, For I am a monster that lives inside the house. I wish I didn't get chills whenever I catch myself smile, Wish I didn't measure myself up to you knowing I'll fall short every time. I can cry if I want; don't you dry my eyes, It;s the only way I feel or get it out. I can run if I want; don't you chase me down. It's the only control I have of my life now.
Hello, oh dark one, my old friend, You just came back to play pretend. You're just a memory by now, Don't even know each other's names or how to not be proud. Why must you keep up the charade? You'll only piss on my parade. Who are you trying to impress? Both know you've come back just to point out all my mess. Why won't you leave me alone, I smell your dogma's breath on me, Why must you knock at my door, there is no room at the inn, Your mouth is full but your words are empty. I've stopped pretending to pretend, Your self righteousness has its end. Even the smiles you wear are fake, It sits cold on your face, you burn your witches at the stake. Manipulation's all you know, Teamed with hysterics for the show. The ignorance spits out like bile, You have no one cos you put every poor bastard on trial. You wanna tell me I'm wrong, you're strong, go on say it. It's not enough to believe your own lies, You have to sell them to the masses, can you do it? It's not enough to convince yourself, You can't drink the Koolaid without the practice.
Heavy lies the crown, queen of the flies and pigs in shit, You've shown me just about all that you're worth. Let's weigh the coins on a scale, one to ten of shame and this little piggy had none. Mundane are the tricks you use to catch up all your prey, Have you got another soul to sell? The double talk is riveting, somewhat hypnotic and this little piggy went home. You're rather fond of that snout you wear, You're so prissy eyed when wanting your way. You're rather fond of that snout you wear, You're so pretty when you're taking off the plate. Well aren't you a greedy little pig. This little piggy went to market, Another little piggy took a shine. And that little piggy got all the new little piggy toys, Robbing this little piggy blind. You're a little piggy on a holiday, Smile with your empty box in front of your smile. How do you sleep at night on your sheets made of gold? I'd rather be a poor man than a money whore, child. You little piggy went to market, You little piggy got tons. And while you're being a little piggy cunt, This stupid one got none. You little piggy.
You're not sick because you're ill, You're sick because you're an asshole and it suits you. You're not confused or diagnosed, You're the lowest of the low, I don't salute you. Drone, victim, waste. Cold hearted bitch. You're as empty as my glass, a living work of shit. You wish you could be the same as me, You don't even know my name. You go around with your damage stamp, You make us all seem trivial and I hate you. Your medicine's made out of drone, Go crawl back to your fucking hole, I will break you. You wish you could be the same as me, You'll never know my pain. You want a suckerpunch or you wanna suck on this? I feel a rush of disdain as you speak of your war, Some of us who are really suffering get ignored. You change the things you believe in every week like the news, You wanna be loved so you pretend that you were abused. You want abuse? I'll give you all the scars that you need, You're not special, no one moves the stars for me. You want a suckerpunch? You wanna suck on this, You play the victim but I play every way you wish.
Tic tac toe on my window pane, There's a man in the garden with a voice like rain. It's my birthday today and he's brought me a cake, He said all my desires and fears are at stake. Have you seen my dreams at all? They're impossible and over ten feet tall. I never thought of selling my soul because it's too dirty to count at all. Make a wish he said, I wanna be unpopular, I wanna be strange. Make a wish he said, I wanna be a rockstar that people hate. Blow out the candles and wish for the best, It's who you know, who you fuck and the rest is luck. Make a wish he said, I wanna be invincible but I don't want to be like them. Knock knock, BOOM, as he burst right in, He didn't have a brain and his heart was tin. But he shared all his tricks with me, how to succeed, He said pucker your lips and ingest the speed. Is he real, this man who offers me the hope of feeling tall? Can I escape into his eyes where I rise above them all? It's not as though the ones who made it were all sane in mind, But I find with every break of my reality I'm so inclined to go by his sight.
You look so small right now; so vulnerable, Your legs are failing underneath you like the sea. Your body smells like dirt, your face is lost, You're seeing double and your doe eyes are drawing me. I wanna kiss you better, I wanna fall a little, We're in this 8mm, we were eachother like skin. I can't say that we'll be happy tomorrow but right now a great adventure begins. Fuck, what a time to be alive, If I'm not drowning in despair I'm all psyched up to start a great adventure with you. It's like I don't even care if it makes any sense, You're so pretty when you're high, high. I met you on a train; a man taking names was coming for us as we ran to the end of the world, I sat you next to me, I took your hand so weak, I told you if we're gonna die then together we go. Tell me one of your stories, remind me you adore me, You're my tunnel vision like a man in black, I can't say that we'll be here tomorrow but right now all I feel are the railway tracks. I met you on a train, A man was taking names. "I'm here" he said. I met you on a train; a man was taking names, You asked me for mine, I told you "you already know". I've known you once before, a man in black, I want to black out on adventures with you.
Sometimes I wake up and I can't even breathe, Sense of frustration as I try to function with this disease. Sometimes I hate you cos I've given so much, Sometimes I'm crying on the inside cos it's never enough. Sometimes I feel like I should cancel the show, Wonder the point of effort's wasted and do you even know? Sometimes I scream into my pillow so stressed, I've done a million things with my day and you're not even dressed. When the light hit me this morning i thought I might die, Don't really feel like I can do this again, I just can't fight. I think I'm broken, I don't work anymore. I think I'm broken cos the hurt isn't like before. They think I'm joking when I come back for more. I guess I must be broken cos I feel numb at the core. Sometimes I space out hoping for things to change, It's like if if I hold my breath long enough it won't be so strange, Sometimes you push me till I snap just for fun, It's so you get to call me crazy and I've no leg to stand on. I've a feeling you don't like me at all, You take the bits you need from me and then you wait for the fall. Sometimes I wish I was somebody numb, But then I'd be someone like you and that could never be done. Why are you laughing at me? What is the joke? How dare you disregard the words that I spoke. Who do you think you are? You don't even get what I go through every day because of your shit.


released August 23, 2016


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Pretty Addicted Sheffield, UK

The loopy Dance-Punk band your mum hates!

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